Okay, first off, let's get one thing straight. I LOVE MEDICAL SCIENCE! Gaaa! You have no idea how excited it makes me. You really don't. Now, I love all things scientific but guts, bones, malignant diseases...they just make me want to cry! I wish I was alive in Grizelda's Elizabethan Era because I would've had so much fun with the Black Plague. She is so very fortunate to be that old.
Okay, again. I was born in 1859 in Hartford, Connecticut. That's where Mark Twain lived but I moved by then, so that doesn't make any difference. There were two things going on in the 1800s: The Industrial Revolution and the Great Migration to the West. My father wanted so badly to be an inventor like Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell, but bless his heart, he sucked...a new modern word I've learned. He used up all my mother's dowry on useless inventions like the musical radiator fan and the mechanical shoe tyer. Didn't he know people were capable of tying their own shoes? So, his one and only option was to move us all out West. Well, my mom and I.
We ended up in a mining town called Bodie, CA. Now its a ghost town where you can be a tourist and take the whole family for a day of great fun and education. The air was thick with dust and the saloons were thick with outlaws, but that didn't bother me none. No, siree! While my father was out trying to strike it rich as a miner (another failure) I would sit home and tinker with his tools like dangerous knives and rusty wood rasps. Ooo, it was so fun!
Finally, my father got a fantastic idea. He threw in the pickaxe and set up the house as a funeral parlor. It was great! There were more dead people in Bodie than the precious metals that they mined. He knew I loved to cut things and rip them apart so he made me the Embalmer. My parents just couldn't stand the sight of blood.
So here I was, living out my wildest dreams...a young unmarried woman cutting up dead bodies in a basement and loving it! But as I went on, something kinda weird happened to me. When I could find no corpses to play with, I began to seek out live ones. Now, Sigmund Freud would maybe have something to say about my nervous hysterical condition but Freud hadn't been invented yet in Bodie, CA. I was just so fascinated in all those slippery veins and muscle tissue that I had to have more!
I would've felt pretty guilty about this except for the fact that my parents had three houseguests over one night: Grizelda, Frenchy and Violet. They were kind of weird and they all dressed old-fashioned but Grizelda said she could give me Eternal Life and I could have all the dead bodies I ever wanted...FOREVER! What a deal! I had "accidentally" killed my parents that night so I figured, this is good timing. I'll take that Eternal Life and I can do autopsies 'til their coming out of my ears! We exchanged blood and I love blood and eventually, after ravaging the Old West for a while, we took a chicken truck to Chicago...
OTHER NAMES: Dr. Jeckle, Miss Hyde, Quincy, The Lovable Quirky Maniac
CRIMINAL SPECIALTY: The cutting up and disposing of victims.
BIGGEST GOAL: To become a medical doctor and save human lives. If I can't do that, I want to construct a Photon Laser Atomic Death Ray and take over the World!
PET PEEVE: I am so sick and tired of Frenchy watching the Boom Boom channel. I mean, come on. Isn't knowledge, especially medical knowledge, more important? When I finally get my TV night, we're watching National Geographic Channel and Dr. 90210. Golly, it doesn't get any better than that!
IDEAL MAN: Dr. Noah Drake who works at General Hospital. He's such a heartthrob.
FAVORITE GAME: Jacks and Lawn Darts.
FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING: The bustle. We Victorians love big butts. I can sit for hours if I have to because I am not really sitting on my own butt. I'm sitting on a bustle. I also collect unique pins off of my victims' clothing. I have one pin that looks like a huge wasp.
FAVORITE COLOR: Red. It's the color of blood.
NEW INVENTION YOU LIKE: The Slinky. For the life of me, I simply cannot figure out how it keeps walking down staircases. I probably should give it an autopsy and find out its inner workings.
FAVORITE HOBBIES: Autopsies and reading books.
PERSON YOU MOST ADMIRE: Madame Curry. She's a lady scientist, and even though she made up an element and I randomly cut up bodies, and she's dead and I'm undead, I still think we have a lot in common. I even have a manikin in my bedroom that I named Madame and she talks to me.
WHY CHOOSE GRIZELDA'S OFFER OF ETERNAL LIFE: I need to learn more about the future of medical science. I'm from the Victorian Era. Do you think we knew anything? Let's face it, I killed my own parents so I could autopsy them. Also, I have never had any friends because I was strange and bookish, and my Evil Sisters are all I've got. I could never kill them because Grizelda tells me if I break the chain of the Evil Sisterhood, we will all die. I don't know if she's lying because she does tend to fib all the time, but I'm not taking any chances. Bodies forever and forever bodies! That's my motto.
